


Car sharing to bed sharing

by kayleighkitkat



Category: Peter Kay's Car Share (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-12-15 00:08:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11794326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayleighkitkat/pseuds/kayleighkitkat
Summary: John and Kayleigh are boyfriend and girlfriend and are not just sharing a car now. They are both happy but like every relationship there's bound to be misunderstandings, arguments, surprises, unwanted attention from other people, and a whole lot more along the way





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> "Car sharing? Bloody bed sharing more like!"
> 
> Said Litchy to John about him and Kayleigh in series 2 ep 3. Well he wasn't wrong was he, as now finally that's exactly what is happening
> 
> Chapter 1 all happens on the same day, chapter 2 and beyond happens on different days

CHAPTER 1

John had stayed the night at Kayleigh's. She was trying to sneak him downstairs the next morning as Alfie and Chloe were asleep in bed and Mandy and Steve had been away all night in a hotel but would be back soon. The new couple sneaked downstairs holding hands. John and Kayleigh were both half naked and their hair was a bit messy

Kayleigh yawned as they came downstairs and straight away she started bickering with John. "I'd probably still be asleep now if it hadn't been for you, waking me up"

"Eh? I didn't wake y' up! It's not my pissing fault y' didn't get much sleep is it?"

"It is your fault actually John. I can't blame me lack of sleep on Our Mandy's thin curtains this time"

"How is it my bloody fault?! 'Aven't y' asked your Mandy to get y' some new curtains yet eh? Cos them friggers in your box room are fucking shite!"

"It's not me curtains! It's cos you snore John! Do you really have to do that? You sound like a friggin wildebeest when you're asleep, you snore so f'ing loud!"

"Y' cheeky cow! Get some earplugs in if y' don't like it! I am what I am!"

"Alright Gloria Gaynor keep your bloomin' hair on! I'm just saying what needs to be said." Kayleigh laughed while John just rolled his eyes. They had been together not even a day yet but they were already acting like a married couple

"What time did we get to sleep last night John? I really can't remember last night at all"

John grinned suggestively which made Kayleigh giggle like a naughty schoolgirl

"I friggin can. I remember every minute, clear as a bell"

"Oh I don't mean the sex John, that were amazing!" she squealed. "I meant i don't remember what time it was"

"Lord knows, last time I looked at the clock it were...1:21. Again. I swear that time of day haunts me like a friggin nightmare" he groaned

"I told you John, it's the spirit world. They're trying to send you a message. Anyway you're gonna have to get changed and go soon"

"Gonna 'ave to go? I'm y' friggin boyfriend!"

"Our Mandy and Steve went away for the night in a hotel remember. They'll be back in about an hour"

John smirked at Kayleigh. "Oh aye? We could do that couldn't we, we could go in a hotel for the night"

"Bit early for that John, we only got together yesterday"

"Maybe I'll surprise y' one day eh?"

"I can't let her see you John!"

John's eyes glazed over. "Why y' ashamed of being in love wi' me eh? Am I not good enough?"

Kayleigh rubbed his arm comfortingly. "No that's not it John! I never knew how good you were til last night. You really surprised me actually Mr Redmond! It's just that-"

"What?"

"I don't really think Our Mandy likes you that much John. She thinks you messed me about and that I can do better"

"Well she's right there. Y' can do better. A lot better"

Kayleigh tutted at him and took his hand, stroking his palm with her thumb. "Oh shut it will y'? I love you"

"Not as much as i love you Kayleigh" he smiled at her

"But look at us John! Messy hair, we're half naked and...well if she finds out we're together now John-"

"Christ, you're a 36 year old woman Kayleigh! We ain't kids anymore, we can do whatever we bloody want! Y' need to stop worrying what your sister will think, it's none of her pissing business if we're together or not! What 'appened to that fiery girl i fell in love with who doesn't give a shit eh?"

"Yeah i guess you're right. Who gives a stuff if she sees us together?"

"Exactly. It doesn't fucking matter what she thinks. What d'ya wanna do now we're up?"

"Well I can think of something" Kayleigh traced tiny circles on his bare chest suggestively. "Can't you?"

"Oh aye? What naughty ideas are y' putting in me head now Kayleigh Kitson, eh?"

Kayleigh pushed John onto the sofa. "Shut it and give me all you've got. You know, like you did last night"

"I tell y', it's a bloody good job I love y' so much" John said as he pulled Kayleigh on top of him

John and Kayleigh started caressing each other and kissing passionately on the sofa. Kayleigh let her fingers explore John's body while deepening the kiss. She kept moaning against his mouth and started shouting with pleasure as he went inside her

After their shag Kayleigh laid in John's arms with her head resting on his chest. They were both breathless, their hair was even messier than before and they stunk

"That was...shamazing! OMG John that was better than last night!"

"Well I like to think I know how to make a woman satisfied y' know" he winked

"Oh you deffo do that John! You're like a little Superman. You're so good"

"Well I do me best"

"I think you deserve a reward Jonathan"

John and Kayleigh were just about to kiss when they were interrupted by the noise of tiny footsteps walking about on the landing. John frowned

"Is that next door? Bit loud aren't they, can 'ear em through the friggin wall!"

"No it's one of the kids John! Just quick, just move away from me"

John and Kayleigh broke apart and the door opened. Chloe walked in rubbing her eyes

"Auntie Kayleigh is my mummy and daddy home yet"

"No not yet darling. What's wrong? Why aren't you in bed?"

"I couldn't sleep"

Kayleigh got off the sofa and went over to Chloe. "Awww have you had a bad dream?"

"No I heard you shouting"

Kayleigh frowned in confusion while John tried not to laugh, he knew exactly what Chloe had heard

"Shouting? What do you mean shouting Chloe? Are you sure it wasn't a dream?"

"No I woke up cos i heard you shouting. I heard you shouting at uncle John. You shouted "Oh John! John! OMG yes! Don't stop. Keep going John!" My mummy shouts at my daddy, but she sounds angry. You didn't sound angry. And you were breathing loudly. I was really scared. Why did you shout auntie Kayleigh and why are you naked uncle John?"

"Are y' gonna tell her or shall I?" John looked at Kayleigh who had finally put two and two together

Kayleigh covered her mouth and blushed bright red. She wanted the ground to swallow her up. No words could express how embarrassed she felt right now. How the fuck would she be able to explain to an 8 year old why she was shouting John's name like that

"Oh it's okay me and your uncle John, we were..."

Kayleigh turned to John for help. John was more than happy to fill Chloe in

"You'll know when you're older little 'un. I were making your auntie Kayleigh a very happy woman"

"John! Don't say that!"

"How were you making her happy uncle John?" asked Chloe

"Well I were touching her and-"

Kayleigh cut John off. "Shut it right now!" she warned him quietly through gritted teeth. "Or you won't be getting any anymore" she mouthed

Chloe looked confused. Kayleigh laughed nervously while John sniggered. Kayleigh bent down to Chloe's level

"Errr...We were playfighting darling. Yeah, um...Me and your uncle John we were just being silly that's all. He was tickling me. It's okay, nothing to worry about, go on you, go back to bed, try and get some sleep. You're a good kid you" she said ruffling her niece's hair. "Now hurry up back to bed before the tickle monster comes to get you!"

Chloe shrieked and ran back upstairs into her room. Kayleigh closed the door after she'd gone and breathed a sigh of relief. John shook his head at her and grinned

"You're such a bullshitter you Kayleigh. Tickling y' my arse!"

"Well i couldn't tell her what we were really doing could i John? Thank frig she's gone! F'ing hell, I thought you were gonna tell her!"

"Well why didn't y' let me? She wouldn't know would she? What is she, 6?"

"No she's just turned 8. If i'd have let you tell her what we were really doing John she'd have been googling it and having f'ing nightmares. Thank frig she's just a kid"

"Oh I 'ear ya. Kids don't know owt"

"We gotta get ourselves cleaned up John. Look at the state of us! You wanna get in the shower with me?"

"Now what y' thinking?"

"I'm not thinking nothing John. I just wondered if you wanted to shower with me"

"But there's no lock on the bathroom door. Y' telled me y' had to shower with your foot on the door 'andle. What if someone walks in? They'll be scarred for bloody life, seeing me in all me glory"

"We'll be about 5 minutes pronto John. Get in, get out. Sorted"

"Aye alright"

"It's times like this I actually wish you were f'ing shit in bed John. No amount of Jade Goody's Shush can cover up how bad we smell right now"

"Would you care to give me your hand, oh pretty lady, so I can lead you into the bathroom? And maybe later someplace else, and not for the first time?" John winked at Kayleigh who just laughed

"Your wish is me command Mr Redmond. Look at you going all posh on me, you little dark horse" she let him take her hand to lead her away

"Aye y' make me do strange things you do woman"

At that moment Kayleigh happened to glance out the window where she saw Mandy and Steve driving down the street. She flew into a panic

"Oh frigadig John!"

"Now what's up wi' y'?"

"They're coming now, down the street. I can see the car John! Oh shit, shit, shit!"

Kayleigh waved her arms in the air hysterically and John gently put his hands on her shoulders to calm her down. "If we 'urry up we can get a wash before they pull up!"

"There's no time John!"

"Kayleigh I telled y' not to worry about what she thinks! For fuck sake calm down will y'!"

"Just hide John! Hide, hide, hide! I don't give a shit where, just hide!"

Kayleigh pushed John into the kitchen. He looked at her in disbelief. "What the fucking 'ell's up wi' y' you daft cow?!"

"What's up with me?! John we f'ing stink!"

"Aye well that's why we need to get a wash. Come on"

Kayleigh became frantic. "Frig the f'ing shower John! Just hide in the garden or somewhere, anywhere! I don't want her to find out! I can't do this John!"

"Stop bloody worrying, eh? Come 'ere". John pulled Kayleigh into a deep kiss. At the same time Mandy and Steve got out the car. Steve noticed John's fiat was there

"Hey that's John's car. I guess him and your Kayleigh must have sorted things out"

The front door opened and when the room door opened the lingering smell hit Mandy like a ton of bricks. She stopped dead

"Friggin hell, what's that smell? Can you smell it Steve, it stinks like sweat and shame in here"

Steve sniffed the air. "Oh aye yeah, think we both know what that is Mand don't you eh?" he nudged her while laughing

"What the fucking hell is that girl playing at?!" Mandy shouted as she walked in holding her nose. "Kayleigh! Are you up?"

Kayleigh's eyes widened and she stopped kissing John. She emerged out the kitchen wearing just her bed vest and knickers looking worried. Mandy didn't look impressed

"Get dressed will ya Kayleigh, look at the pissing state of you! You look like you've been dragged through a friggin hedge! I wanna know why that John's here. And before you try and lie to me that he's not, I know he is, his car's outside our house!"

Kayleigh tutted sarcastically. "Oh, good morning to you too sis?"

"Well?" demanded Mandy

Kayleigh stuttered. John came out the kitchen wearing just his boxers and slippers. Mandy was horrified at the sight of half naked John and cringed

"TMI! And that's before I even have me breakfast!" she cried covering her eyes. "Bloody hell, you could at least cover yourself up surely?"

John ignored Kayleigh's sister and squeezed her hand to comfort her. "Come on, you can do this. Just tell her" he whispered supportively

Kayleigh bottled it and said the first lie that came into her head. "Well I...he-he's here cos...err. He...he came round last night so we could discuss the Christmas team. I'm on his Christmas team at work you see. And we were just talking about it"

Mandy looked them both up and down. "Oh right. Is that why he stayed round, you're half dressed and got hair like friggin Worzel? Looks like you've been having a good old shag, from where I'm standing. Doesn't take a pissing rocket scientist to work that one out does it?"

John and Kayleigh shuffled nervously. John cleared his throat and blushed slightly

"Guess you got a bit carried away with your "discussion" eh? Bloody hell, look at the state of you two! You stink both of ya!" Steve added

John and Kayleigh laughed nervously. Kayleigh looked really embarrassed and looked at the floor

"Anyway I'm off to do me bike, I guess I'll see you later John mate"

"Aye see ya bud"

Steve bumped fists with John before going outside to tinker. The bromance between them did Kayleigh's head in but that was the least of her problems right now

Mandy shook her head and scowled at her little sister. John had seen that same look before from Kayleigh. Mandy was a lot taller than Kayleigh and had blue eyes and darker hair. But other than that, John noted, the sisters looked very similar

"You dirty little bitch! I knew it, I knew you would end up doing this. I told you before he's no friggin good! But do you ever listen to me, do you balls!"

"Alright I am 'ere, I can 'ear y'!" John piped up

Kayleigh grabbed John's hand and stood up to Mandy

"Mandy, John's me boyfriend. We're both adults, and we can do whatever we f'ing want! So get used to it, or don't cos to be honest I don't give a shit what you think! Just cos you're older than me, doesn't mean you can tell me what to f'ing do!"

"Oh-hoo!" John laughed, he loved it when Kayleigh's feisty side came out. He loved her "I don't give a shit don't mess with me" attitude

"You don't do whatever you want, in my house young lady. You don't sneak him round, behind my back. I've got 2 little kids, what do you think they'll think when they see the state of you?"

Kayleigh shrugged her shoulders pretending Chloe hadn't seen them. But John gave the game away. "Well your Chloe's already seen us this morning. She got up a bit ago to go to the toilet"

"Oh has she now?!" Mandy crossed her arms. "Well that does it, me bloody daughter's seen. Friggin great stuff, gonna be getting a shitload of questions off her now"

Mandy threw her head in her hands. She was absolutely mortified and didn't really know how to react

"Oh it's okay sis she didn't see anything. She just said she heard me shouting at John and breathing loudly. We just told her auntie Kayleigh's been playfighting with uncle John. We'd have said the same to Alfie n all. She believed us and went back to bed"

"What were you shouting for? And breathing loudly what?"

As soon as she asked that question Mandy soon realised why Kayleigh shouted at John and breathed loudly. Her eyes slowly widened and she covered her mouth in horror

"Oh jesus christ no! No, no, no I can't have this. Knowing me 8 year old daughter's heard me little sister during a shag. I can't fucking believe this! I should have known you wouldn't listen to me Kayleigh, you just do what you want"

"Oh piss off will ya Mandy! You're me sister not me mum! I am allowed to be happy you know! John makes me happy!"

"I might as well be! I seem to be the only one who can knock some sense into ya! Do you ever bloody learn?"

"Oh grow up Mandy" she rolled her eyes

"You're the one that needs to grow up Kayleigh, you act like a friggin teenager! Look here lady, I know what you're thinking, you shag him then you'll get pregnant. It's not happening. That's all you're after from him isn't it, you don't love him. He's just a sperm donor"

John looked really hurt. "I'll go sort meself out in the bathroom and get meself changed upstairs" he walked out

"I do love him actually! He's the love of my life. And yeah, I do want a baby, but he's more than just a sperm donor to me. He's the one I waited my whole life for. We're meant to be together, John and me"

"Oh change the record Kayleigh you've said that about every bloke you've ever been with. And look what happened with all them. If ya ask me, you should swear off men altogether. You're better off on your own"

"John's not like them Mandy! He's different. He's not a drug dealing knob rash, or a cheating pig, or a liar"

"D'ya know what i don't care. Mark my words, you two won't last 5 friggin minutes. I don't want this in my house where me kids are and if you don't like it lady, tough shit. Ya know where the door is. Are we clear?"

Kayleigh huffed and went into the kitchen. "Fine. You're chucking me out so I'll go pack me stuff up"

"Where d'ya think you're off? I ain't chucking you out! Come back here! Don't you walk away from me Kayleigh Kitson!"

"You don't have to chuck me out cos I'm moving out!" Kayleigh cried. She stormed back through the room carrying black bin bags and slammed the room door behind her

Xxxxxx

Kayleigh stormed upstairs to her box room and furiously started packing her clothes and her belongings up in the bin bags. John had got changed and was sitting on her bed while Misty was asleep on the floor. Kayleigh sighed and sat down next to him, putting her hand on top of his

"John...what Our Mandy said before, about you just being a sperm donor, you know it's not true. She can be a right bitch sometimes"

"Aye. I 'eard"

"Is that why you went upstairs?"

"Well i went in the bathroom first off, washed me face, then i come upstairs to get me clothes on. She shouldn't 'ave said that. Alright, fair enough she isn't me biggest fan I know but fuck sake, did she really 'ave to bloody say that?"

"She never thinks before she speaks John. She just comes right out with it"

"Oh aye? A bit like you then. Now I know who y' get it off"

"Cheeky rat!" Kayleigh hit his arm playfully

"Think y' got your looks off your Mandy as well as your fieryness didn't y' eh?"

"Yeah me mum and dad always used to say how alike me and Our Mandy look. She's basically me if i were taller with blue eyes and darker hair. The Kitson kids all look near enough the same really. You should see Our Kieran, and i am not joking John, he looks like a male version of me. He even has me eye colour. We all look like me mum. Same eyes, eye colour, nose, the works. Even Our Kelly, who's me cousin, looks a bit like us n all"

"Our Paul doesn't look a bit like me. Y' can't even tell we're brothers"

"They're really strong genes in our family John. All the Kitsons look related"

"What y' packed everything up for in them black bin bags?" John changed the subject

Kayleigh looked at him and sighed. "I might as well move out of here John. She's doing me f'ing head in lately, sticking her nose in me business, telling me what I can and can't do"

"Well where y' gonna go? Y' 'aven't thought that one through 'ave y' eh?"

Kayleigh tilted her head to the side and frowned. "You really don't know?"

John realised what she meant. "Oh no Kayleigh it's way too friggin early for that. We should wait a few months"

Kayleigh looked at John with her best puppy dog eyes. "But I'm your girlfriend and you love me"

"Yeah you are. And i do very much but so what? Don't you be giving me them big sad eyes Kayleigh Kitson it won't work on me"

"Awww don't be a big meanie John! How can you say no to this little face?" she circled her face with her hand

John looked at her and sighed. She already knew how to wrap him round her little finger. "I bloody wish i could say no, I really do I tell y' that right now"

"But you just can't can you?" she teased him. "I'm always gonna get me own way now, I'll just guilt trip you if you say no!"

"Alright, alright stop rubbing it in. I'll move y' in, you've got your wish"

"And Misty don't forget about her"

"Oh shit I forgot about your dog. Anyway we've got a busy day today us two 'aven't we?"

"Have we?" she frowned in confusion

"Y' know what day is it today?"

"Errr yeah, it's Saturday"

"Aye, it is. Which means it's...come on Kayleigh don't act like y' don't friggin know! I only telled y' yesterday, y' can't have forgot already! Your memory ain't that shite surely?"

"I don't know John! You're gonna have to tell me"

John tutted at her and rolled his eyes. "It's me gig in Clitheroe in a gymkhana today!"

"Oh yeah that" she nodded. Then she frowned at him. "Is that it? That's what you wanted to tell me? I thought you were gonna tell me something good, bit disappointed now"

"What d'ya! What d'ya mean is that it?! Come on, get a pissing wiggle on! Y' 'aven't even got dressed yet or brushed your friggin 'air!"

"Alright, alright Jonathan take a chill pill! It's not the end of the friggin world is it?"

Kayleigh shook her head at him then got off her bed and went to get herself changed. She brushed her hair and put her extensions in before she sprayed her favourite perfume Jade Goody's Sshh

"Take a chill pill?! Clitheroe Kayleigh it's pissing miles away!"

Kayleigh turned round and frowned at him. "It's not that far surely?"

"It's far enough. We'll be driving 90 minutes from 'ere to mine to get me stuff for Compendium's gig then we're off. It's gonna take a good few hours"

Kayleigh looked at herself in the mirror curiously and narrowed her eyes. "You know what Jonathan frig me extensions. I think I'm gonna have me hair in pigtails today"

John snorted. "Pigtails? 'Ow old are y'?"

"They look cute! You're just well jell cos you can't have your hair like that!"

"That's 'ow kids 'ave their 'air. Not 36 year old women! Just put your extensions back in! Least y' won't get the piss took out of y' wi' them in"

"I never took them out Jonathan. They're still in me hair. See" she gestured to her hair. "Who's gonna take the piss out of me y' cheeky fish?"

"Smartarse" he rolled his eyes. "I will if y' go wi' your 'air like that. Maybe when we get back we can take Misty dogging eh?"

"Yeah you're funny" Kayleigh shook her head and smiled

"I am aren't I eh? D'ya know I always fancied meself as a comedian I did, me mates always used to say I were quite funny"

"I've told you before John, we're like Cannon and Ball. I'M the funny one, not you. You're the other one"

"Cheeky bitch. Why do I put up wi' you eh?"

"Because you love me, that's why" she smiled through the mirror

"Well, there is that" he grinned at her

Kayleigh smiled sweetly at him before looking back in the mirror. "Hmmm. Should i or shouldnt i? You know what i think i've changed me mind again, think I'm gonna keep me extensions in, frig me pigtails"

"Y' change your mind more than y' change your bloody knickers you do. How can y' change your mind that friggin fast?"

Kayleigh turned back to him all matter of fact. "Who's gonna take the piss now Jonathan?"

John laughed before laying back on her bed to relax. He sighed happily. "Your bed's lovely and comfy y' know" the springs jumped as he laid back. "Oh shit. D'ya 'ear that? Think we worked your bed springs into the friggin ground after last night"

Kayleigh pulled a face through the mirror and turned to him. He looked confused

"What's that face for?"

"Did you just fart you dirty kuso debu?"

"No I bloody didn't y' cheeky mare. And who you calling a fat shit eh? I bet you've secretly let one off though 'aven't y, missy? It wouldn't surprise me y' animal"

Kayleigh grinned mischievously at him then ran over to him excitedly. He wondered what she wanted

"Now what y' after?"

"Well you know how you said it'll take a few hours to get to your gig. Can we play car games on the way? The yes/no game, I spy, see how many red cars we can spot. Oh John please let us play the yes/no game! You never let me play it on the way to the safari park you spoilsport"

John's expression never changed. "No"

Kayleigh smiled and went away from him. "I win. This time, we're definitely playing it for real Jonathan then I'm gonna win again"

"We'll 'ave Forever FM on in the car, ain't that enough for y'?"

Kayleigh went over to the black bin bags with her things in and rummaged for some clothes. She pulled out a yellow dress with a zip on the back

"Johhhnn" she wailed. "I need your help. Can you zip me up?"

"Oh for Christ sake" he shook his head and sat up and got off the bed, walking towards her. "I were just getting comfy then n all. Bright yellow dress?! You're 'avin' a laugh, you'll 'ave all the bees after y'!"

"Yellow's me favourite colour remember. It's bright and happy like me!" she squealed

"Suppose you'll 'ave yellow shoes n all won't y'? You're unbelievable you" he shook his head in disbelief while smiling

"Oh you know me too well Reddy"

"Reddy? Did y' just call me...Reddy? Oh don't call me that Jesus Christ that's an awful nickname is that" he screwed his face up

Kayleigh laughed at his reaction as John zipped her up. He went back over to the bed and looked at sport on his phone while she started doing her makeup in the mirror. She put her fake eyelashes on as well as some light blue eyeshadow. After she was done she wanted to know what John thought

"What do you reckon?" Kayleigh asked as she turned round to face John

John frowned not looking up from his phone. "What y' on about? To what?"

"To me John!" She gestured to her face and body. "Do I look-"

John looked up from his phone and his jaw literally dropped when he saw her. A massive grin spread across his face and he raised his eyebrows. He was really tempted to wolf whistle her but decided against it as he thought it would be disrespectful and sexist. Instead he jumped up off her bed and went over to her, wrapping his arms round her waist

"Fucking hell Kayleigh!"

Kayleigh hesitated. "Is that a good or bad "f'ing hell Kayleigh", John?" she frowned

"D'ya really need to ask? Just look at y' eh. Y' look bloody lovely"

Kayleigh thought the opposite of John's opinion of what she looked like. "I don't think I do John. I look rough"

"Rough? I think the word you're looking for lady, is beautiful" John replied as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and gave her a quick kiss. Kayleigh didn't believe him, she still thought she looked rough

"You're just saying that" she smiled shyly and looked down

John starting stroking her hair which made her look back up at him

"No i'm not. Remember a few weeks back at our work party, when y' got dressed up as Hagrid, and y' had that big beard on your face, i were blown away by 'ow nice y' looked i were. All y' normally wear for work is some false eyelashes and y' still look great. And I'm not just saying that, I mean it I do. You're bonny you are Kayleigh, wi' or wi'out makeup. You're the most beautiful woman i've ever seen. You're perfect. Why y' think otherwise, and why you're so self critical, is beyond me"

"John I don't ever want you to see me without me makeup or me false lashes. Trust me, you'd run an f'ing mile! I look like bride of chucky, rough as arseholes. I mean, frig sake, i were on heartsearchers paying £15 every friggin month for jack shit cos I were that desperate to find someone. And you wonder why i'm self critical? There must be summat wrong with me and if it ain't me face then what is it"

"You're mad as a box of frogs, that's what it is. But that don't matter to me, i love y' just the way y' are. I told y' yesterday, y' make me laugh, y' make me happy, 'appier than I've ever been before, and on top of that, you're the most beautiful woman in the world"

"Awww John" she smiled sweetly at him. "You really know how to make a girl feel good about herself"

"Y' shouldn't need me to tell y' what y' should already know"

They gazed into each other's eyes for a few minutes, before John moved away from Kayleigh and went over to the door, gesturing over to her. "Come on, we gotta go get Jim"

Kayleigh's eyes widened in horror. "Jim?! Your bandmate Jim?! Shit"

"Oh aye you're gonna be meeting him today aren't y' eh?"

Kayleigh rolled her eyes when John wasn't looking. "Oh woopy doo can't f'ing wait"

"I bet y' can't, he's a right laugh is Jim"

"I was being sarcastic John" Kayleigh crinkled her nose. "I'm not relishing the thought of meeting that f'ing creep. Can't you just say I don't feel well so I don't have to go?"

John looked at Kayleigh in disbelief

"Don't John, don't look at me like that!"

"Is there any wonder I'm looking at y' like that eh? You're a right hypochondriac you are! You're coming to me gig whether y' like it or not. You're me bird and I want y' to watch me sing in me band!"

"Pretty please John?"

Kayleigh looked at John with her big sad eyes again and her lower lip wobbled

"Don't you bloody give me them sad eyes again for Christ sake. That your new trick is it? Every time y' want your own way y' look at me like that d'ya? I'll be getting wise to that now y' know so y' best knock it off"

"But John I know i won't like Jim, me gut says he's a friggin creep"

John looked confused. "Eh? What y' on about? Y' listen to your gut?"

Kayleigh nodded at him. "Yeah. Yakult told me to"

"Yakult? Who the frig's that?"

"Yakult, you know, that advert that used to be on TV. They used to say Yakult, listen to your gut, so that's what I do now, I listen to what me gut says"

"Y' don't 'alf talk a load of bollocks sometimes you Kayleigh" John laughed. "Y' never fail to amuse me you do. Y' ready?"

Kayleigh sighed. "Looks like I've got no f'ing choice"

"Come on let's be off"

"Hang fire Jonathan I need me stuff first" She collected the black bin bags together. "Can't get out of here quick enough, after today there's no more box bedroom, no more showering with me foot on the door handle, no more thin curtains, no more hearing Steve revving his f'ing bike"

"'Whoa whoa whoa 'ang on a minute Kayleigh I've just had a thought. If you're moving out of your Mandy's today, what y' gonna do about Misty? Y' can't bring your dog to me gig!"

"Oh shit...I didn't think of that. I'll leave her here for now then we'll have to come back later to get her and bring her to yours"

John and Kayleigh went downstairs each carrying black bin bags and he helped her carry her things into his fiat before they got into his car and drove off

Xxxxx

After stopping at John's to get him some fresh clothes, his keyboard, some sunglasses and a stetson as well as taking Kayleigh's black bin bags with her clothes and belongings in his house, John and Kayleigh were back in the car on the road with Forever FM on quiet on the radio. John was now wearing his stetson and some sunglasses as well as a blue jacket underneath a shirt and jeans

"Awww you do look cute in your hat John" Kayleigh laughed as she pinched his cheeks

"Give over woman!" cried John. "Trying to drive a bastard fiat 'ere, never mind me gig, we'll be in an ambulance if y' carry on wi' that!"

"What's it called the hat?"

"It's a stetson dear"

Kayleigh stopped and stared at him. He felt her looking as he was driving

"What?"

"Dear? How old are you again?"

"39, last time I checked. Why, what's wrong wi' that?"

"That's what me grandad calls me grandma. Old people say that"

"Well I can call y' whatever I like!"

"Just seems weird to call me that when we're only in our 30s though John"

"Well y' know me, I act a lot older than I am. 'Ere, let's 'ave a listen to our old buddy, Forever FM" John turned the radio up

You're the one that I want started playing and John and Kayleigh started singing it in each other's faces. John sang the man's lines and Kayleigh sang the woman's lines. They sang the chorus together. But Kayleigh got a bit carried away and sang too loud

#"YOU'RE THE ONE THAT I WANT OO-OO-OO HONEY! THE ONE THAT I WANT

They were at a traffic light at the moment and John covered his ears to drown out Kayleigh's really loud and really shit singing

"Fucking hell Kayleigh, you'll burst me bastard eardrums singing like that!" "If y' can call it singing that is" he added under his breath

"Awww John I love this song!" she squealed happily

"Olivia Newton John, 1978. It's off your favourite film this is, innit?"

"Dirty Dancing? No I don't remember this song in that. I've seen it 175 times now I should know"

"No it's...Grease. That's what it's off, Grease. I only know cos me mam loves that film"

"Oh I've never seen it. Is it good?"

"I wouldn't know. Y' couldn't bloody pay me to watch shite like that"

"Bet it's not a patch on Dirty Dancing"

"Well nowt is in your eyes. Me I reckon both them films are shite"

The radio adverts and jingles came on. (Miles of tiles that'll make you smile, make dreams come true at Corton Tiles)

(Get a shed, at the Shed Surgery)

(Arthur Whelan, for when tomorrow doesn't come)

(And some others)

After the adverts, the next song to play on Forever FM was Mr Blobby. John and Kayleigh looked at each other in disbelief. John sighed deeply and pushed his head back

"They're 'avin a fucking laugh aren't they? Really scraping the bottom of the barrel now Forever FM y' shower of shit!"

"Surely they can find a better song to play than this guff?" Kayleigh turned the radio off. "Can we play that game now?"

"Oh bloody 'ell, go on then. What d'ya 'ave to do?"

"Right so you ask a question like I don't know, um are you gay? And you say yes or no. But if you say it more than once I win"

"Sounds like a load of shite if y' ask me" John rolled his eyes

"John? Are you gay?"

"No! No! I'm not pissing gay no! I wouldn't be wi' you if I were gay would i!"

"I win. You said no three times"

"Oh I aren't pissing playing this it's fucking boring shit"

"What cos I won? Spoilsport" Kayleigh crossed her arms. "How about...I spy?"

"If we must" John rolled his eyes

"I spy with me little eye, something beginning with...J"

"John. Me"

Kayleigh sounded surprised. "Frigadig how did you get it that fast? How did you know?"

"I know y' too well Kayleigh. I know y' better than y' know yourself"

"You do one now"

"No I aren't friggin doing one. I'm bored already"

"Oh you know what we could play?!"

John shook his head. "Surprise me"

Kayleigh puckered her lips into a tiny mouth

"Lady Diana"

John and Kayleigh suddenly both started laughing hysterically as they remembered that morning Kayleigh showed John how to play Lady Diana. Kayleigh giggled at the memory

"Oh i was so pissed that morning wasn't i John? Remember Jonathan, do it with a little tiny mouth"

"Oh I'll remember alright lady"

"Diana"

John and Kayleigh tried so hard to keep a straight face

"Kayleigh don't make me laugh I'm driving!" John squeaked

"I'm sorry John" she cried grabbing his arm to stop herself laughing so much. "It's just so funny"

"Tell me about it! Once I start I can't fucking stop!" he roared with laughter

Tears of laughter were rolling down Kayleigh's face

Xxxxxx

John pulled the car up in a unknown street and took his seatbelt off. They had finally arrived at Jim's

"Right we're here come on get your arse out time for y' to meet Jim"

"I'm not going anywhere John. I'm staying here" Kayleigh crossed her arms. "Don't even try and move me cos this girl's staying put"

"Oh suit yourself then contrary Mary"

"I will thank you very much Jonathan" she poked her tongue out at him

John went to open the car door. "I'll be back in a bit wi' Jim"

Kayleigh cleared her throat to get his attention. He stopped and turned to her

"What's up?"

"She puckered her lips. "Give us a kiss before you go Jonathan"

"Oh come here then"

John didn't need to be asked twice. He leaned over and kissed her. He got out the car and knocked on Jim's door. Jim answered the door

"Alright John mate!" Jim high fived John

"'Ey up Jim, y' dickhead! 'Ow's it going?"

"Not bad. You brought your bird wi' y'?"

John grinned and shook his head at Jim. "Trust you. Were wondering 'ow long it'd take y' to ask that. Typical Jim the ladies man. Come on y' daft twat"

"You look a right dick in that stetson John. We off then?"

"Wait 'ang on a minute Jim. Before we go, there's someone I want y' to meet first"

"Oh aye? Is it your bird? Hey up, y' didn't answer me question when I asked y' the other week if she were fit or not"

"I'm punching well above me weight wi' her. She's out of me league"

"I'll believe it when I see it. Hey, is it her?" Jim pointed to a fat woman approaching them

"No it ain't her y' cheeky twat. She's sitting in me car, I'll bring her out now if y' want"

John looked at Kayleigh sitting in the passenger seat of the car playing with her nails

"Kayleigh?" he called

"What?" she mouthed through the window

John gestured for her to get out but Kayleigh shook her head

"Come on!" he yelled. "Jim wants to meet y'!"

Kayleigh sighed loudly and rolled her eyes and reluctantly got out the car. John went over to her as she got out and they held hands as they went over to Jim who was already eying her up

"Right then. Time for the introduction. Jim, Kayleigh. Kayleigh, Jim. Kayleigh, this is Jim me bandmate. Jim, this is Kayleigh me girlfriend"

Jim's eyes swept up and down Kayleigh's face and body and he grinned at her. "Alright love?"

Kayleigh hugged her arms she felt really uncomfortable. But John thought she was being rude

"Talk to him Kayleigh!"

"You're not shy are y' love?"

"Is she balls. She never shuts her bloody mouth normally"

Kayleigh scowled at John and forced a smile at Jim. "Hiya"

Jim put his hand out for Kayleigh to shake. She screwed her face up in disgust and looked at his hand she didn't want to know where that hand had been. John pulled a face

"Shake his hand Kayleigh! What the pissing 'ell's up with y' today eh?"

"Does me hand smell or summat love?" Jim joked

Kayleigh thought he looked like he probably jacked off a lot, to her he looked like a dirty old man

"This isn't a joke. Have you washed your hands?" she asked seriously

Eventually John made a reluctant Kayleigh shake Jim's hand. Jim made sure he got to squeeze her fingers and winked and grinned at Kayleigh and she felt sick. John sensed she was uncomfortable and took her back to the car

"Come on let's be 'avin' y'" called John as Kayleigh climbed into the back of his fiat on her own and Jim was in the passenger seat after loading the boot up with the stuff for the gig, staring at her through the rear view mirror much to her distaste

Xxxxx

John, Jim and Kayleigh were on the way to Clitheroe. To avoid having to see Jim staring at her through the rear view mirror, Kayleigh decided to mess about on her phone. After a while she got bored and decided to rest her eyes

"Think i'm gonna rest me eyes John I'm feeling a bit knackered"

"Alright babe. I'll wake y' up when we get there"

Kayleigh closed her eyes and soon fell asleep. Jim made sure she was asleep before taking a few more quick peeks at her, and talked about her to John

"So she's your bird eh John?" Jim gestured to Kayleigh who was now fast asleep in the back

"Aye. She is"

"I tell y' what I was not expecting that!"

"What?"

"Her! Fuck me, she's fit as fuck! Why didn't y' tell me she were fit?"

"Well y' know me Jim I don't like to brag"

"I'd be fucking bragging if me bird looked like that! Ooh hoo hoo! Not sure about the dress though"

John wasn't impressed. "Jesus Christ Jim will y' listen to yourself"

"What? I'm just saying"

"It's not the 19th pissing century anymore Jim! She's a woman, not a bloody sex object! She's more than just a pretty face, and a shag, she's got feelings, she's a person for Christ sake! Why, what were y' expecting her to look like?"

Jim shook his head. "I don't know, some fat bird or summat. If you're owt to go by"

"Y' cheeky fucker!"

"You're one lucky bastard you John. As if you managed to pull her! Y' got any tips for me mate?"

"If it weren't for us car sharing to work she'd 'ave still just been a stranger I sometimes see at work. Thank fuck for Kath Hilton starting the car sharing scheme" he smiled. "I'm gonna 'ave to thank her for bringing Kayleigh into me life I am"

Xxxxxx

Kayleigh was in John's dressing room before his gig fussing over him

"Okay are you sure you don't want any water or anything? You sure your nerves aren't gonna make you sick?"

"I ain't nervous. I know these gigs like the back of me hand, been doing 'em for that long. Kayleigh stop fussing. I said I'm alright, alright?"

"I just want to look after you John, make sure you're okay. That's what girlfriends do"

John got up, he moved towards her and took her hands so they intertwined with his

"I've told y' I'm fine. More than fine. I'm on top of the bloody world right now, now we're finally together"

"Awwww John"

John wrapped his arms round Kayleigh's waist, holding her tightly and pulling her in for a kiss

"Anyway y' best get your seat we'll be starting soon"

"Good luck" she reached up to wipe some sweat from his face

"I've got all the luck I need, being wi' you. Now go on get a seat. Preferably right at the front so I can see y'"

Kayleigh smiled at him sweetly as she walked out of the room after blowing him a kiss. "Love you"

"I love you too" he smiled back at her and felt butterflies in his tummy

Xxxxxx

Kayleigh was seated at the front while John and Jim walked on stage with their keyboards and other musical instruments. Before they started John had an announcement to make through the microphone

"Okay ladies and gentlemen listen up. I want to dedicate this first song, well I tell a lie, I want to dedicate every song, to the most important person in me life, the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, the love of me life, Miss Kayleigh Kitson this is for you"

The audience clapped and cheered

"Awww" Kayleigh's heart melted and happy tears rolled down her face

As John started singing he never once took his eyes off Kayleigh who was beaming with delight. Jim was watching her too but she ignored him

#You walk out alone and I follow you

#The noise of the city you know that I know

#And I think that you know that I'll only love you tonight

#Woah tonight

#In the city, you're so pretty there tonight

#Eyes are staring, you're hardly wearing a thing tonight# John winked suggestively at Kayleigh who giggled

#But you're mine, woah, and I'm not gonna let you go

#Cos you mean everything to me

#And I'll never ever set you free. Ohhhh Kayleigh

#You are the love of me life

#And I hope one day you'll be me wife

Compendium performed more songs

Xxxxx

After the gig finished and everyone had gone Kayleigh went to join John on stage

"You were amazing out there. I'm so proud of you"

"Thanks babe"

Kayleigh reached up to plant a kiss on John. Jim came back from the toilet and wolf whistled her, which made her uncomfortable and John was annoyed that he was still bothering her

"Jim knock that off will y'!"

"Oi oi girl! Where's my kiss eh? I'm sure a fit bird like you should be giving both band members a snog"

"Fuck sake Jim! I'll knock your fucking head off if y' carry on talking about her like that! Babe i'm just gonna go for a piss I won't be long"

"Please let me come with you John. I can't stay here with him!" she mouthed

"I'd take y' wi' me if i could but it's men's khazi y' can't! Look, I'll be as quick as I can"

After John had gone Kayleigh moved to the other end of the stage to get away from Jim. But he followed her and squeezed her bum, to her horror. She flinched as he put his hand on her shoulder

"Hey up love I've been thinking, how d'ya fancy a threesome sometime eh? If John can have some fun wi' y' so can I. Give us both a good time and all that?"

Kayleigh felt a bit of sick come up in her mouth and borked. "Get the f'ing hell away from me you f'ing creep! I'd rather pull me own eyes out with an f'ing stick"

"Think about it though won't y'? I know I will" Jim put his hands down his pants and started touching himself while looking at her. Kayleigh opened her mouth, but no sound came out

John came back from the toilet and caught Jim fiddling

"What the! Jim what the fuck are y' doing?!" An embarrassed Jim quickly pulled his hands out of his pants

"Nowt mate!"

Xxxxx

The car ride home after they had dropped Jim home, Kayleigh was traumatised by his perverted comments. John was worried about her, she had been quiet since they left the gig

"Are y' alright babe, y' 'aven't said two words since we left me gig. What were Jim doing when I come out of the toilet like?"

Kayleigh shuddered. "If you don't know I'm not telling you John"

"He liked y' didn't he eh? Think he had the hots for y'. Right ladies man is Jim"

"He's not a ladies man John! Will you stop saying that! He's minging John, and he's a dirty old pervert!" Kayleigh screwed her face up. "When you were gone the sick bastard squeezed me arse, asked me if we could have a threesome, then he started wanking off while looking at me!"

John froze. After a pause he yelled in shock and anger."Y' WHAT! I'll fucking kill him!"

Xxxxx

Kayleigh had been to collect Misty from Our Mandy's and said her goodbyes to her, Steve and the kids. Back in the car John's bluetooth speaker phone rung. It was Jim, he had an idea for a new song. As John answered it took him every inch of his being to stay calm

(Yes?)

(Eyup John mate I've just thought of a new song)

John's blood was boiling. He pulled over knowing he was gonna blow his stack (Oh aye? Shoot)

(Title's fit birds. 'Bout all the birds I think's fit. Including yours. Hey, y' alright mate, y' seem a bit pissed off about summat)

Kayleigh felt a shiver up her back and closed her eyes tightly. John grabbed her hand to comfort her then suddenly exploded, making Kayleigh jump and Misty started barking loudly

(Are y' fucking surprised eh?! After what you said and did to Kayleigh d'ya really expect me to be owt but!)

(Eh John what?)

(Don't you fucking what me Jim! I know exactly what y' did. And I know what y' said n all!)

(I didn't say or do owt to her John I just asked her summat chill mate)

(I ain't your pissing mate no more! And I ain't gonna fucking chill when y' pretty much sexually 'arrassed me girlfriend y' disgusting prick. Y' squeezed her arse, y' asked her for a threesome. Oh don't y' worry Jim I know, she telled me)

Jim denied it (Well she's chatting shit. Not my fault she wants it is it?)

Kayleigh's eyes widened in horror. John took her hand, and mouthed "'S'alright babe I'll sort this"

(Oh aye, and y' jacked your beanstalk in front of her. She telled me everything she did. She doesn't want owt from y', it's all in your warped head. She said y' were a creep, maybe I should've listened to her)

(Wow, she's really got you wrapped round her little finger hasn't she? Y' believe everything the daft sexy cow says)

(I'm fucking warning y' Jim, if y' carry on-i'll go back to your house and I'll beat the fucking shit outta y')

(Your bird's a slag mate. I saw her, eying up other blokes when you weren't there. If they'd have gone over she'd have dropped her knickers there and then, wouldn't give you a second thought John. Dirty bitch, I got her sussed, don't you worry. She's trying to drive a wedge between us John. Our band)

Tears were running down Kayleigh's face. She buried her head into John's shoulder and he hugged her tightly while wiping her tears away

(D'ya know summat Jim, i always knew y' were an 'orny bugger, but now I can see what a sick fucking dirty bastard y' are n all. We ain't got a band no more Jim. I'm gonna go solo from now on. So fuck off)

With that, John turned the phone off

Kayleigh looked at him. "John it's not true what he said, I wasn't eying up any other men. You believe me don't you? I'd never do that, I'm not that kind of girl and I love you John"

John kissed her forehead. "Hey hey course I believe y' babe. I know you wouldn't do that. It's him innit, it's all him"

As they started driving again the bluetooth speaker phone rung for a second time. John thought it was Jim again

He impulsively roared at the phone making Misty bark again ('Arrassing me now as well are y' y' dirty fucking bastard! What d'ya want?)

(Who's harrassing someone John? It's me)

The voice on the other end was Nana Rose. John felt guilty and embarrassed while Kayleigh couldn't help but giggle

(Oh hiya Nana. D'ya want me to bring y' your dairy box?)

(I've got me dairy box John. Lisa brought it me this morning. Now what's this about harrassing someone?)

(S'alright Nana it's nowt. Lisa brought it did she? Very good. Save me a job if nowt else. Are y' alright? What's up?)

(Our Paul's had an accident at work. He's in hospital. I've just been to see him)

(Jesus. Is he okay?)

(We don't know what happened our John. It were some kind of freak accident. I've offered to look after the banes at their house while Lisa's seeing how Paul is in hospital, but they keep saying they want their uncle John so Lisa's given me a lift home. You're gonna 'ave to go round to Our Paul's to look after em, Lisa can't if she's at hospital, bless her)

(They want me d' they?)

(Take the banes out somewhere or summat. Tell em everything's gonna be right as rain. Make sure y' take em to see Our Paul n all)

(I will do Nan, I'm on me way)

(Is everything well with your lady friend now our John? Oni last time I rung y' y' said you were 'aving a bit of trouble wi' her)

(Oh aye, it's going great guns now wi' me and Kayleigh)

(Ooh i'm made up for y' John I am. You'll 'ave to bring her round sometime so I can meet her. I hope it works out for y' any road. I don't want you and your lady friend going the same way as you and your other lady friend)

(That won't 'appen Nan. This one's for keeps this time. She makes me 'appier than I've ever been does Kayleigh. I'll never let her slip through me fingers)

(I hope y' won't our John! Any road, I'm gonna have to go now. Ta ra)

(See y' Nana)

"D'ya 'ear that eh? Lisa this Lisa that, Lisa's best thing since sliced bloody bread at the minute! I bloody hope Our Paul's okay"

Kayleigh put her hand on his arm to comfort him

"I'm sure he'll be fine John. Guess I won't be moving into yours tonight"

"What y' on about? We moved your stuff in earlier on all we need now is for you and Misty to move yourselves in today"

Xxxxx

John dropped Kayleigh and Misty off at his. Kayleigh didn't want him to go

"If you leave me John I've got no one to cuddle up to!"

"I've gotta go look after our Ben and Sophie! You're not gonna be on your own. You've got Misty. Cuddle her. Besides, you've moved in now, we'll be cuddling up every day and night of the week for the rest of our lives. Well we'll be doing more than just cuddling if y' know what I mean" he winked suggestively which made her laugh

"I'll let you go if you promise me you'll give me a goodnight kiss first"

"What y' on about, goodnight kiss? It's not even night yet!"

"I don't know when you'll be back John, or whether you'll be back tonight"

John kissed Kayleigh but just as he was about to pull away she deepened the kiss before showering him with mini kisses, making him blush bright red. His voice went high pitched

"Bloody hellfire let me go will y' woman!"

"I don't know if I'll see you again today John. So I'm making up for it now"

"Get on wi' y'. Get your arse in me house" he said as he got in his car. "'Ere, have me stetson, wear it if y' want" he took his hat off and gave it to her

"Make sure you text me!" She called and he nodded

She held Misty in her arms and waved and smiled as he drove off, just like she always did before they got together. She sighed happily at the smell of him in the hat. Kayleigh Kitson was on cloud nine right now, she'd finally got the man of her dreams, and she wanted it to last forever. She remembered John saying if it's meant to be, it'll be. She knew this time, it was meant to be


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a shorter chapter this time, seeing as the first one was so long

CHAPTER 2

In the early hours of the morning John had woken up and was watching Kayleigh sleep peacefully at the side of him. He sighed dreamily as he watched her, all he could think was how utterly beautiful she was, even when she was asleep. Her eyelashes delicately caressed her cheeks, her hair brushed against her face and her lips slightly parted. She made John feel like the luckiest bloke in the world right now

Xxxxxx

The next morning Kayleigh woke up and ran straight to the bathroom. A concerned John followed her and watched worriedly as she spewed her ring up in the sink. Misty had been woken up by the noise and ran into the bathroom barking

"Bleurgh! Bleeeech! Ugh not again" she cried as she retched loudly, which made Misty bark even louder. John frowned at her in confusion

"Friggin 'ell Kayleigh y' keep running to the khazi like a bloody headless chicken! What's up wi' y'?"

"I don't know John but I'm f'ing sick of it now. I'm only sick in the morning, and I've been sick every morning for the past week! I haven't even had me lady time this month"

John screwed his face up. "Bloody 'ell Kayleigh I didn't need to know that!"

John grabbed some baby wipes and wiped Kayleigh's mouth. As she moved away from the sink she suddenly felt really dizzy and fell backwards. John rushed to catch her and they collapsed in a heap on the bathroom floor

"Babe! Are y' okay?!" John's voice was panicky

Kayleigh shook her head, on the verge of tears. "I don't know John, I don't know what's the matter with me" she burst into tears

"Hey, hey s'alright babe, I'm 'ere, I ain't off anywhere"

John held her in his arms on the floor and started wiping her tears away and kissing her hair to comfort her. She tried to blink more tears away and buried her head into his chest and hugged him tightly, he wrapped his arms around her lovingly but then the mood changed when John screwed his face up as the smell of vomit filled the air

"Christ sake Kayleigh you've stunk me bastard bathroom out! Smells worse than when you've had a shit in 'ere"

Kayleigh sat up and scowled at him. "Oh well I am sorry John!" she snapped. "But I think me health's more f'ing important don't you?!"

"Alright alright I were oni 'avin a laugh! Are y' feeling better now? D'ya think y' can stand up for me?"

Kayleigh managed to stand up without feeling dizzy

"Frig how f'ing weird is that John? The dizzyness has just passed. I don't feel sick anymore either. But me head hurts a little bit"

Kayleigh thought it was just a sickness bug but John was thinking something else

"Y' don't think-"

"What?"

"Well i don't want to get your hopes up cos I know how much y' want a baby, but... y' don't think you're pregnant d'ya?"

Kayleigh squealed happily

"Ooh i didn't think of that. OMG! OMG John, I think you've knocked me up! You've knocked me up John!" Kayleigh jumped up and down with excitement. John put his hands on her shoulders to calm her down, he was worried she was building her hopes up and would be left upset

"Alright, alright, don't get excited yet! I didn't say y' are, i said y' might be, for all we buggering know it might be a false alarm"

"Frigadig it probably is" Kayleigh's smile faded away which upset John

"Look, y' probably are pregnant, but it's better to get a test so we know for sure before y' start celebrating"

"One thing i do know for sure is that I'll be sacking it off again today"

John rolled his eyes. "You're never at bastard work you lately are y'? Y' know I could sack y' if I wanted"

"Or you could make me head of promotions?"

"Thought y' telled me y' already were that?"

Kayleigh sighed. "I only said that to impress you John"

John laughed. "Oh aye, caught her red 'anded! I knew y' were talking bollocks that day, I friggin knew it! Head of promotions? You're already head of me Christmas team, what more do y' bloody want?"

"I'm just sick of standing about giving out samples all day long and doing 2 for 1, BOGOF and all that guff. It's such an f'ing ballache. You know something John, you're not treating your lady right. So much for being me boyfriend and all that. Part of that includes letting me get me own way you know" she crossed her arms, pretending to be annoyed

"Aye, and I'm your bloody boss n all, y' wanna remember that lady! I'll stay off today and look after y' and we can buy a pregnancy test"

She smiled "Sounds like a perfect day"

Xxxxx

Back in John and Kayleigh's bedroom Misty was asleep on the bed, Kayleigh was sat on the bed stroking her. "She could sleep all day this dog John, she's very lazy"

"Tell me about it. D'ya know I've never known a dog as lazy as yours. I'm surprised y' get to take her dogging...I mean dog walking, wi' amount of sleeping she does, lazy little bitch"

John was getting changed when he suddenly caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror

"Bloody 'ell eh?"

"What?"

"I keep pinching meself to tell if I'm dreaming or not"

Kayleigh frowned. "What you mean?"

"Well I look at meself and I think, I must be the luckiest bloke in the world right now. I mean look at y', you're beautiful. And i've thought that since the day i first clapped eyes on y'. To think you'd be interested in me though, back then i mean, it were a bloody pipe dream. Y' could have any bloke y' wanted Kayleigh, and y' chose me"

"Yeah and I'd choose you everytime John. Awww as if you thought that about me before we even knew each other, that's so cute John"

John was nearly blushing with embarrassment. "Shut your trap. Y' stood out, alright? Everyone else were average. You're the best looking employee at our store you are. Go on then, why did y' choose me?"

"Cos I love you that's why! I've told you that before!"

"Yeah, and then y' got out me car in gridlock and broke me friggin 'eart"

Kayleigh frowned at him and sighed deeply. "John...don't bring that up again please. I tried to put that day out me head and you're just...making me remember it all over again..."

"I'm sorry. I know y' love me. And i love you n all. But i 'eard your Mandy say your last boyfriend were a stud. 'Ow am I meant to compete wi' that?"

"Oh stud, schmud. He was a f'ing knobrash that's what he was. I don't give a stuff what you look like John! If I cared about that I'd have a friggin paper bag over me head!"

"Charming"

"Oh i don't mean it like that and you know it! Where's all this come from anyway?"

"I don't know, its me insecurities innit. Your Mandy doesn't like me, she says I'm not good enough"

"She can f off, she doesn't know how good you really are"

They looked at each other suggestively and both smirked

"But really Kayleigh, you've got it all. You're beautiful, you're funny, kind, caring, smart. What 'ave I got eh? I ain't even got a friggin band anymore. I'm just a fat, grumpy, boring, unglamorous, near enough middle aged assistant manager at a supermarket. I ain't got owt going for me 'ave I?"

Kayleigh got off the bed and went over to John, wrapping her arms round the back of his head and kissing him passionately

"You've got me. You've got me John, and that will never change"

Xxxxxx

John and Kayleigh had been out to buy a pregnancy test. They were waiting nervously for the test results

"So d'ya think I've got y' up the duff?"

"I friggin hope so John"

Kayleigh tapped her fingers on the table nervously. Nerves took over and she became hysterical, making John jump

"Oh I can't do this John! I can't do it!" she cried suddenly

John looked alarmed. "Can't do what?!"

"I can't look! You read the results John please!"

"Why me?!"

"Please John!" she frantically shoved the test into his hand and her voice went high pitched. "I don't want to see it!"

"Alright alright! Christ, calm down will y'! You'll 'ave a bloody panic attack at this rate!"

Kayleigh covered her mouth and shook her head frantically. "What if it didn't work...oh I don't want to think about it John! I don't want to think about that!"

"Christ sake Kayleigh keep your bloody knickers on! Y' should have done that first time round, then we wouldn't be in this situation would we eh?"

"If i'd have done that John I wouldn't be pregnant. What if I'm not pregnant now?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it alright? What we got to wait, 2 more minutes?"

Kayleigh threw her head in her hands, shook her head and got up

"You're not listening to me John! What if I'm not pregnant?! You know how much I want a baby"

John got up, took her hand and squeezed it. "Well we'll keep trying til y' are if it means that much to y'"

"I just want to be a mum John, that's all I f'ing ask! If i'm not pregnant we'll just have to adopt that little baby monkey from the safari park then I can be mum to him"

"You're 'avin a laugh, that little bastard! Y' can't adopt monkeys anyway they're wild animals!" Thank the lord" he mumbled, remembering the monkey from Seaview Safari

John held the test in his hand and waited while Kayleigh covered her eyes. John looked at the test results and started smiling

"Y' know when y' asked me before what if you're not pregnant?"

Kayleigh opened her eyes and looked at him, nodding sadly

"Well y' won't 'ave to worry about that. Cos Kayleigh Kitson, guess what?"

"What?"

"You are 'avin me baby!"

Kayleigh broke down crying tears of joy. John put his arm round her

"Hey, hey what's up? I thought you'd be 'appy. Y' were bloody hysterical before, y' 'aven't changed your mind 'ave y'?"

Kayleigh wiped a tear away and laughed. "I am happy John! It's cos I'm happy that's why I'm crying! All I ever wanted was to be a mum and now it's finally gonna happen! Aren't you happy?" her smile faded and she frowned. "You don't look happy"

John smiled, which reassured her. "I'm over the bloody moon is what I am! I can't fucking believe it, we're gonna be a mam and dad!"

"We are!"

"D'ya know I think you'd make a great mam Kayleigh, I do. You're great wi' your Alfie and Chloe"

"Oh I'm so excited!" Kayleigh jumped into his arms (literally)

"D'ya wanna do the lift, seeing as I'm lifting y' up now?"

"What?"

"Y' know, like they do in your favourite film. The one everyone did in the swimming baths cept you cos you're aquaphobic?"

Kayleigh grinned. "Maybe in 9 months John, I'm pregnant now"

They smiled sweetly at each other and kissed

Xxxxxx

That Saturday John and Kayleigh went to visit Nana Rose. Nana Rose was sleeping in the chair at home when there was a knock at the door. Rose woke up and got frightened and started shaking in fear

"Who...who's there?" her voice trembled

"Is she alright John?" Kayleigh asked, concerned about the old woman

"I don't know, 'ang on. Rose?" he called through the letterbox. "Are y' alright?"

Rose breathed a sigh of relief when she heard John's voice. "Oooh is that you Our John? I thought it were some burglar"

"Yeah. 'S'alright. I brought someone 'ere to see y' Nana, and I brought y' your dairy box n all"

"Well why don't y' just come in like y' normally do?"

"Your door's locked Nan. Y' must 'ave forgot to unlock it"

"Oooh honestly, I'd forget me head if it weren't screwed on. 'Ang on, I'll just go get the key and let y' in"

Rose had really bad athritus and took a while getting to the door. When she opened the door John was standing on the doorstep with Kayleigh

"'Ello Our John!" Rose greeted her grandson

"Hiya Nana. 'Ere, here's your dairy box" he passed her the dairy box

Kayleigh smiled at Rose. She looked at Kayleigh curiously. "Who's this?"

John put his arm round Kayleigh. "This is Kayleigh who I've been telling y' about Nan. She's me-"

"Is this your lady friend Our John? She's very pretty"

"Yeah she is. And she is" he turned to Kayleigh who smiled sweetly at him. "Come on, let us in, I'm dying for a bit of quiche from the fridge"

Rose shook her head and laughed. "Oooh honestly John Redmond, you and your appetite"

John and Kayleigh were holding hands as they followed Rose into the room

"It's so lovely to finally meet you Rose I've heard so much about you" Kayleigh said as she took Rose's frail hand

"I've heard a lot about you n all love. John never bloody shuts up about y'"

Kayleigh turned to John who was eating the quiche and blushing. "Is that right?"

"He can deny it all he wants, I might be old but I don't forget"

"Would you like some tea Rose? Or coffee?" Kayleigh asked

"No I'm right as rain thank y' love. I wouldn't mind a bourbon though"

Kayleigh smiled and went into the kitchen to bring Rose a bourbon as well as make a drink for herself

"John Redmond you make sure y' look after Kylie. She's a lovely lass. Are y' listening?"

"Kayleigh" he corrected

"I hope y' make each other really 'appy any road. I don't want to see the two of y' end up the same way as y' did wi' that Charlene Our John"

"Charlotte" he corrected. "That won't 'appen Nan. I weren't 'appy wi' Charlotte. It's different this time. I love Kayleigh, she makes me 'appy and I know she's the one"

Kayleigh came back from the kitchen with the bourbon and drink. She stood in the doorway smiling. "Awww John"

Rose could tell they were in love just by the looks they gave each other

"Young love eh? I remember many moons ago when I were courting your grandad John, it were the best feeling in the world. Thanks for me bourbon Keeley" Rose said as Kayleigh passed her the biscuit before sipping her drink

John gestured for Kayleigh to sit in the chair next to him. She did and he reached for Kayleigh's hand, clasping it tightly on his knee while Nana Rose sat on the settee eating her bourbon. John tapped his feet, thinking what to say next

"I 'ear Our Paul's alright now"

"Ooh I knew he would be. He's a fighter Our Paul. He's in a wheelchair though, he can't walk"

"Bloody 'ell, some news is that"

"Well we've got some news of our own haven't we John?" Kayleigh said excitedly nudging him

"Oh aye, we 'ave. I'm gonna be a dad Nan!" John announced proudly

Rose gasped happily. "Are y' 'avin a baby love?"

"Yes!" Kayleigh squealed. "I am!"

"Am I gonna be 'avin another great grandbane then? 'Ow long y' been courting?"

"Nearly 3 weeks, haven't we John?"

"Ooh bloody 'ell, y' didn't waste any time did y'?"

"I haven't got any time to waste"

"Kayleigh's clock's ticking Nan. It's now or never for her"

"'Ow old are y' love? Y' don't look very old. What are y', mid to late 20s?"

"36"

"That's no age love. Y' could still be 'avin a baby well into your 40s. 'Ow did y' meet, the two of y'?"

John rolled his eyes. "'Ow many times 'ave I told y' Nan, we work together. We only really got to know each other through car sharing though"

Rose looked confused. "Care sharing? What's that?"

"Jesus Christ are y' going bloody deaf Nan? I said CAR sharing, she shared me car wi' me, it were part of this scheme work did"

"The first time me and John shared his car, we were practically strangers, then we became friends, then best friends then things just took off and now we're here, expecting a baby"

"I'm ever so proud of y' John, you've finally found yoursen a lovely lass. Y' deserve a bit of 'appiness, it's about time y' found someone to give it y'" she turned to Kayleigh. "I've never seen him this 'appy, in all these years he's been in the world. Make sure he treats y' right Kayleigh love. Are y' listening to your future Nana in law?"

"Finally!" John exclaimed. "Y' said her bloody name right"

Xxxxxx

John and Kayleigh went for their first baby scan a few weeks later where there was a surprise!

"Okay, so from reading the scan Mr Redmond and Miss Kitson, it seems that-"

John was holding Kayleigh's hand tightly. Kayleigh was nearly having a panic attack, thinking there was something wrong with their baby

"Is there a problem?" John asked

"None that I can see. It seems that-"

"OMG...is it dead?" Kayleigh's voice cracked. "Is me little baby dead?" Tears ran down her face and John squeezed her hand to try to comfort her

"Your baby is absolutely fine Miss Kitson. Or maybe I should say babies instead"

"There's two?" they said at the same time

"Congratulations Mr Redmond and Miss Kitson, you are having twins!"

Kayleigh squealed with delight and hugged John

"OMG I can't believe it! We're having two babies John, two babies!"

"Mother of Pearl!"

Xxxxxx

As they got in the car for the car share back home Kayleigh couldn't hide her excitement

"I've gotta tell Our Mandy John!"

"Oh bloody 'ell Kayleigh don't do that! I know what she thinks of me, she'll never be 'appy"

Kayleigh ignored him and rung her sister

(Hiya Mandy you alright? Just ringing to tell you something)

(What do you wanna tell me Kayleigh? Are you moving back in? Has it all gone tits up with that John? I knew you wouldn't last)

(The opposite actually. Me and John are gonna be parents. I'm pregnant! With twins!)

(I hope you're friggin joking!)

(I'm not joking actually. Why would I be joking?)

(Why couldn't you be more pissing careful?! Getting knocked up by that arse clown, he's gonna be in our lives forever now)

(Why can't you just be happy for me Mandy? Whatever you think of John, you should still be happy for me! I'm your sister)

(You don't wanna know what I think of that John sis)

(He makes me happy and I love him, isn't that all that matters?)

(D'ya know i ain't got a friggin clue what you see in him. I'll never know to this day)

John stuck two fingers up at the phone

(Mmm. I always thought that about you and Steve actually. You obviously don't pick blokes for their looks do you? At least John is cute)

(Cute?! Where the bloody 'ell are you looking? My Steve is lovely, make no mistake. You and that John are like fatty and thinny. Surprised he hasn't squashed ya, size of him)

John and Kayleigh looked at each other with their mouth open

"Cheeky bitch!" John mouthed

(Don't you talk about my John like that sis!)

(I wouldn't have minded you being with him if he hadn't broke your bastard heart beforehand. I mean, he might be a big fat bastard and all that jazz but if he made you happy, that's all that mattered to me. After what he did to you though sis, I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him, which wouldn't be very far)

(Carry on Mandy, he's sitting right here, he can hear every word you're saying about him)

(I'm surprised ya went for him, your last boyfriend were ever so bonny, I wouldn't have thought in a million years you'd have gone for that John)

John was fed up of having to listen to Mandy insulting him on the phone

"Oh i'm not pissing 'avin this! Pass us your phone babe"

(Mandy listen all I wanna do is make your sister 'appy. That's all I want. I know y' don't think much of me, but I'm telling y' I'm not the bloke y' think I am, okay? It's out of order the way y' talk about me, and when y' kicked me in me bollocks that day, there were no need for that. I love your sister, and at the end of the day that's all that matters. I'd never do owt to hurt her, I might 'ave had some shit relationships in the past, but I know now i'm ready for love, she's the one I wanna spend the rest of me life wi' and y' 'ave me word when i say i'm gonna love her and look after her for the rest of me life. And i'm gonna be the best dad i can be to our babies. She's the best thing that ever 'appened to me she is, and I would go to the ends of the bloody earth for her I would)

The woman in question was sitting with happy tears rolling down her face. John leant over and kissed her on the cheek. He took her hand so it intertwined with his. Both sisters were speechless for the next 10 minutes. Mandy's opinion of John had changed

(Well bugger me, I never thought I'd be saying this, but maybe you are good for me sister after all. Still think you could do with losing a few pounds though. Welcome to me family John. But I'm warning ya, if you ever go back on your word and hurt Our Kayleigh...I'll hurt you, and not just where it hurts)

(See ya Mand) Kayleigh turned the phone off

"John I can't believe you said all that!"

"Well I think we can safely say I've finally got your sister onside don't you?"

"Don't hold your breath John. She can turn at any minute"

"So..."

"So..."

"Do I make y' 'appy Kayleigh Kitson?"

"Yeah you do. Very much John Redmond"

"Do I make y' laugh?"

"Yeah you do. Very much. Now let's go home"

John smiled as he revved the car up, wondering how he ever got so lucky


	3. Chapter 3

It had been six months since John and Kayleigh got together. It was the middle of the night and they were lying in bed. All John wanted to do was sleep. Kayleigh felt so isolated lately, she just wanted some attention from him. A kiss goodnight, would he even give her that?

"Kiss me John" she said seductively as she leaned over, puckering her lips, though she wasn't wanting to have sex, she just wanted a kiss

"What?" replied John as he sat up in bed and looked at her while struggling to keep his eyes open

"Kiss me. I can't remember the last time you gave me a kiss before bed"

John yawned loudly then stretched. "Some other time eh? I'm knackered. Can't even keep me bloody eyes open! It's been a busy day at work, gonna go to sleep"

John laid his head back on his pillow while Kayleigh closed her eyes and sighed heavily

"John...why don't you-"

"Goodnight Kayleigh"

Within minutes John was fast asleep and snoring like a wildebeest. Kayleigh rolled her eyes as she was forced to listen to the noise of John snoring. She sighed heavily again and laid her head down

Xxxxx

The next morning John was looking at something on his phone when Kayleigh came into the room with a face like thunder. She cleared her throat. He jumped and quickly put his phone away

"Alright babe?"

Kayleigh crossed her arms tightly and huffed. "Not really"

"Why what's up?" he asked worriedly

She raised her voice which made him jump. "What the f'ing hell is going on John?! Cos this is getting ridiculous now!"

John frowned at her. "What is?"

"This! Us! That's if we even still are an us"

"Are y' for real?! Kayleigh you're me bloody girlfriend for Christ sake!"

"Am I though John? Am I really?"

"Y' know y' are! You're the best thing that ever 'appened to me you are. You're the love of me life, me soulmate. What the fucking 'ell's brought all this on?"

Kayleigh scrunched her eyes up to stop tears falling from them. "Why is it I feel like you don't love me anymore?"

"Eh?"

"Oh don't think I haven't noticed John. Cos I have. You hide your phone when I come in the room, you're so distant lately, you never make much time for me, you won't even do anything to me anymore John! When was the last time we had sex? Maybe i should have listened to what Our Mandy said before we got together, maybe we shouldn't have got together after all"

John got up, he moved towards her and took her hands in his. "I've been thinking, thinking 'bout 'ow much y' mean to me Kayleigh" he looked down at their intertwined fingers and smiled. "Been thinking about it a lot lately" he squeezed her hands

Kayleigh snatched her hands away from him and scowled. "Don't come grovelling to me now John. Are you seeing that bitch Rachel from work? Is that what this is, you hide your phone so I can't see your filthy little texts? You won't have sex with me cos you're already getting it from her?"

"What?"

She nodded at him. "Yeah. I bet"

John looked shocked and hurt. He couldn't believe she would think something like that

"D'ya know summat, I knew y' jumped to conclusions Kayleigh, i knew y' assumed things, but this is fucking ridiculous! Why the pissing 'ell would I want her, when I've got the best thing that ever 'appened to me at home? I know you're too good for me. If anyone would be likely to go off wi' someone else, it'd be you"

Kayleigh got defensive. "What's that supposed to mean?! You saying I'm slutty?"

"I'm saying, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in me life. Any bloke would be lucky to 'ave y', you're perfect. Don't let your insecurities tell y' owt else"

"I just feel like this, us being together John, it's a mistake. Six months we've been together now John, I'm having your babies and you're not even bothered. It's all work, work, f'ing work schmurk with you lately"

John was getting really annoyed now and raised his voice. "For fuck sake Kayleigh you're pregnant! We can't go rough and ready cos of that! Y' know what we get like when we get going. We'd end up killing our friggin babies! 3 more months and we'll be mam and dad!"

"Oh no it's way more than just that John. You don't kiss me, you don't hold me hand, you don't snuggle with me. All I wanted from you last night before bed was a kiss, and you couldn't even give me that. Do you know how that made me feel? You're so unromantic John!"

"I were knackered alright! I telled y' that last night! D'ya know I don't know what's got into you lately, you're never bloody 'appy!"

Kayleigh raised her voice again. "Maybe cos I'm not happy John! That's how you make me feel lately. You make me feel disgusting and unloved. I feel like I'm all on me own"

"Don't be bloody stupid"

"If I'm being stupid John then what the f are you being?"

John looked at her in disbelief. "D'ya know I don't get you at all! Y' think just cos I don't tell y' I love y' or tell y' how beautiful y' are, every single day, that it's not true? That I fell out of love wi' y' or your face suddenly changed. Christ Kayleigh, I don't have to tell y' everyday y' know"

"Me ex told me he loved me everyday. Then I found out he cheated on me"

John sighed sadly and looked at her sympathetically. "Oh christ Kayleigh i'm sorry"

Kayleigh shook her head and narrowed her eyes at him. "Getting a bit of deja vu here actually, think history's repeating itself"

"Y' what?! Don't you fucking compare me to your exes Kayleigh, cos I ain't nothing like em!"

She shrugged her shoulders. "You're all the same, men. Maybe I should have been a lesbian instead"

Kayleigh grabbed her bag and stormed off leaving John to try to reassure her again

"Listen I'm not interested in any other woman but you, okay? Anyway, you're one to talk aren't y'? You've been lusting after Ted 2 for...lord knows 'ow long now!"

"Yeah well maybe I should be lusting after him! What with the attention I get off you lately. At least he acknowledges me now"

John's face fell and he frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

He was suddenly overwhelmed by his own insecurities and worry was filling his head. All he could think was: Was she gonna cheat on him with Ted 2? After all, she had fancied the shit out of him since she first clapped eyes on him and that was months ago

Kayleigh huffed. "I'm going to work. Getting a bit sick of that n all. BOGOF on chocolate fingers is a ballache"

John shook his head, he was terrified that if he let her go on her own something would happen between her and Ted 2. "You're not off anywhere without me"

"Try and stop me John. I'm a 36 year old woman not an f'ing kid! Are you not at work today? Just gonna sit on your fat arse all day?"

"Yeah i'm off in a minute. I've got a busy day today"

She rolled her eyes and laughed sarcastically. "Oh what a surprise! You're having a lot of them lately, busy days"

"Well it's not my bloody fault is it? I'm gonna be in a meeting first thing, then I'm doing a staff appraisal then a stock take then loads more shite. I won't get a friggin minute to meself today!"

"Whatever John" she said as she went to open the room door

"Loving me and leaving me are y'? Don't I get a kiss?"

She glared at him and stormed off slamming the front door behind her. John sat in silence for the next 15 minutes, just thinking

Xxxxxx

Both John and Kayleigh had convinced themselves the other was seeing someone else or going to. John's car ride to work that morning was silent. Not even Forever FM on the radio. As well as worrying Kayleigh would cheat, he was annoyed and upset at her accusations. The thought of her thinking he didn't love her anymore or was seeing another woman broke his heart. Kayleigh sat on the bus with tears in her eyes, she was sure John was seeing Rachel behind her back. She was remembering when they first got together, she missed the passion they used to have before she got pregnant, and the regular sex

Xxxxxx

Kayleigh arrived at work. She did her daily tradition of checking out Ted 2 as he collected trolleys with no shirt on. She swept her eyes down to his six pack body but got embarrassed when he caught her staring and quickly looked away. When he wasn't looking she decided to check him out again. Their eyes met, he grinned at her and she felt flattered to be getting attention off a man as she felt like John wasn't giving her attention lately. As she entered the supermarket a voice yelled after her

"Hey"

"Yeah?" Kayleigh turned round, she had never heard that voice before. She looked to see Ted 2 approaching her. Her heart started beating really fast and nearly out of her chest. Ted 2 was talking to her!

"I noticed you checking me out before you go into work. Seen you about before. I normally see you in a red fiat with some fat bloke"

"Yeah...that's John"

Ted 2 grinned at Kayleigh then swept his eyes up and down her face and body. "Never actually realised how fucking fit you were before. For an older bird. You're a right MILF. What's your name milfy?"

Kayleigh frowned. "MILF? Is that a good thing?"

"Yeah it means I want to fuck you. Mother I'd like to fuck"

Kayleigh's eyes widened in shock and she blinked repeatedly. "Err...Kayleigh Kitson, promotions rep. I'm 6 months gone with John's twins. And before you ask, i'm not single. John's me- he's me boyfriend, though lately I'm starting to think we shouldn't be together"

"Yeah well I've got a bird of me own you know. But that don't matter to me. i like the thrill of more than one bird. I'm not really a one bird bloke if you know what I mean. We could be friends with benefits Kayleigh. What do you reckon to that?"

Kayleigh couldn't believe this was happening. Was she in a dream? Ted 2 was talking to her! Ted 2 thought she was fit! Ted 2 wanted to shag her! She just froze dead with big wide eyes. When she finally got control of her body again, all she could manage was a nod. "What's your name?" she asked after a pause. "Please don't tell me it's Ted 2 cos that's what me and John call you"

Ted 2 frowned. "What, why do you call me that? That's a film Ted 2"

"Is it?"

"Yeah it's about a swearing bear and got Mark Wahlberg in it"

"Awww i love Mark Wahlberg. He's me weird crush"

"Why do you call me that? Wouldn't mind being called Sexy Trolley Boy if I'm honest, seeing as though i'm fit as fuck. Real name's Scott. Scott Bask"

"Cos you're old Ted's replacement. He was Ted 1, so we call you Ted 2"

"Just call me Sexy Trolley Boy, cos I know that's what I am"

Kayleigh was nearly whispering. "Friends with benefits, what the frig? Look, I think you're VERY good looking and got a great body and all that jazz Scott but, I'm still John's girlfriend"

Scott moved closer to Kayleigh. Her heart fluttered and she didn't know how to react

"You listen to me you sexy bitch. You can do so much better than that fat fuck. I ain't looking for nothing serious, and i ain't chatting you up if that's what you reckon. I'm just throwing it out there, i wouldn't mind a quickie with you"

Kayleigh's eyes widened again. "...Okay" she said finally as she fanned herself

"Check out these babies" he grinned as he flexed his muscles and gestured over for her to squeeze them

Kayleigh sighed dreamily as she squeezed Scott's muscles. "Yeah...they're pretty impressive"

"Been working out since I was at school. Now got perfect toned abs and a six pack. All the birds go crazy over em, as well as my beautiful face"

"Why won't John give me attention anymore?"

"I'll give you attention if you want it. I'm still up for a shag. Dump him, he ain't worth it"

Something suddenly came over her as she gazed into the eyes of the man she'd fancied for months. Her heart started beating faster and to see the man she'd fancied for months finally notice her it literally took her breath away. All thoughts of John suddenly went out of her head as she lost all her self control and made a clumsy pass at Ted 2/Scott. She was just inches away from kissing him when she suddenly realised what she was doing and stopped

"Frigadig what the f'ing hell am I doing?! This could only happen in a fantasy"

A flustered Kayleigh covered her mouth and eyes in embarrassment and quickly walked away from him while he just stood watching. A nosey customer had seen everything

"Women just don't know what to do when they see me you know. I'm that fit" he said to the customer as he collected another trolley and ran his hand through his hair

"I'm a bit of a jack the lad. When i go for a piss or shit i check myself out in the mirror and preen myself, like the sexy knobhead I am" he pulled out his phone and took a selfie. Scott Bask was very cocky and full of himself, he thought he was God's gift. "I'm sexy and I know it" was his motto and his ringtone

Xxxxxx

Kayleigh got into work and straight away spotted Rachel. She marched over to her, she had convinced herself John was having an affair with her

"Get the hell away from my John you slut!"

Rachel turned round and pulled a face

"What are you talking about you crazy bitch?"

Kayleigh lost her temper and slapped Rachel hard, causing her to squeal. "Oh don't worry Rachel, I know what game you're playing"

Rachel laughed sarcastically. "How many cheeky vimtos have you been on this morning?"

Kayleigh shook her head. "I don't have to be fluffy drunk to know what you're really like"

Rachel got defensive. "Are you calling me a slapper?!"

Kayleigh got in Rachel's face. "If the hat fits. I bet you're riddled with STDs Rachel" she raised her voice. "Stay the f away from John! You got that? He's mine!"

Rachel backed away and laughed. "Wow, you are like, soooo pissed. It's all in your head you stupid bitch!"

"I might be a bit thick sometimes, but at least i'm not a filthy slut. You'd drop your knickers for anything with a pulse"

"I'm not interested in your precious John! He is like, SO not my type"

"You think i believe anything that comes out of your mouth? I know you've got your slutty little claws into me bloke. I'm not a fool!"

"You're a massive fool! You don't even realise how wrong you are you're THAT thick"

Kayleigh's blood was boiling, she was spoiling for a fight. "Stealing someone else's bloke? Oh you've stooped to a whole new level now Rachel. But then again I wouldn't put anything past you" Kayleigh walked towards her and spat. "You filthy little slut"

"Pot kettle black or what? I saw you this morning when i was having a fag with Alexa nearly snogging that trolley bloke. I bet you didn't give John a second thought when you nearly had your tongue down his throat"

Kayleigh was horrified as she suddenly realised Rachel had witnessed her nearly kiss Ted 2 so she had power over her and could easily twist it

"I don't know what you're talking about"

Rachel goaded Kayleigh

"Awww what's the matter Kayleigh, not been getting any for a while, so now you're going for two cocks at once, you know i never actually realised before but you're a bit of a slut aren't you? Bit desperate if you ask me"

Kayleigh was shaking she had got herself so angry, her face was turning bright red. "Say that again"

"There's any wonder you were on that dating site for so long, who'd want a loon like you. John must be fucking mental"

"YOU BITCH!" Kayleigh growled as she suddenly lunged for Rachel and started pulling her hair, making her screech

"OWWW MY HAIR!"

John had just got out of a meeting and heard Kayleigh yelling. Dave Thompson was not impressed

"You wanna keep a lead on your Mrs John, she's a wee bit mental"

John and Dave walked towards Kayleigh's voice and saw her fighting with Rachel. Kayleigh had the upper hand in the fight. She had scratched Rachel's face and made it bleed and had pulled a big clump of Rachel's hair off her head. Also Rachel had a big bruise on her face from where Kayleigh had slapped her before. Kayleigh's hair was a bit messy

"What the!"

"Whoa whoa Kayleigh Kayleigh Kayleigh!" John cried as he rushed to restrain her. "What y' doing?!" he grabbed her wrist and wrapped his arms round her tightly but Kayleigh tried to wiggle out of his grasp, her face bright red with anger. She wasn't finished with Rachel yet

"Get the f off me John!" she snarled, her teeth gritted. This was the first time John had seen her so angry, it shocked him to see her like this

"I'm not getting off y' til y' bloody calm yourself down for Christ sake! This is no good for the babies this" he wailed

"You don't give a shit about my babies John! You keep using them as an excuse! You don't give a shit about me or the babies growing inside me! If you did you wouldn't have shagged her!" she cried with tears in her eyes

"Keep that mental bitch away from me or I'll do something I might regret!" Rachel yelled as Dave Thompson tried to restrain her

Kayleigh laughed loudly as John struggled to keep her in his grasp. "Oh yeah. Yeah I'd like to see you try. Just try! I'll rip all your fucking hair off your head, not just a clump! Don't mess with me!"

Dave Thompson was really angry. "I'm not having this! I'm not having two dumb slags catfighting in the middle of my store! You're going on a written warning, both of you! Rachel, go sort yourself out you look like shit!"

"She always looks like that" Kayleigh smirked. Rachel glared at her

"And as for you Kayleigh, get your thick as pigshit, but lovely looking face out of my sight! Am I clear?''

"F off Dave Thompson you arrogant, big headed, Scottish knobrash!" Kayleigh yelled. "Or do you want a kick in your big Scottish bollocks!"

"Are you just gonna let her stand there and speak to me like that John?! And I don't give two flying shits that she's your Mrs, I've told you before when you let her get her claws into you, you're done. Why the fuck didn't you listen to me John!"

Kayleigh freed herself from John's grasp and stormed off, looking daggers at Rachel. "Don't even think this is over, cos it's not. I'm just getting started"

Xxxxxx

Kayleigh was having a heart to heart with Elsie about John

"I just don't think he wants to be with me anymore Elsie" her voice cracked as she wiped her tear filled eyes

Elsie put her arm round her. "Well I don't know how ye came to think that. Cos I know for a fact that man loves ye Kayleigh I do. I know Mr Redmond thinks the world of ye, and he'd never do anything to hurt ye I know that"

"I'm on a written warning from that N-O-B head Dave Thompson"

"Why? What'd ye do love? I did hear ye screaming but I thought youse were having a panic attack"

"Before I tell you, promise me Elsie, promise me you won't tell anyone!"

"I'll take it to the cemetery Kayleigh love, no one else needs to know what youse has done"

Kayleigh sighed. "I nearly kissed that fit trolley bloke this morning before work"

"Well I wouldn't blame ye, he's a good bit of eye candy that lad. But what about youse and Mr Redmond? Go on, what did ye get ye written warning for? Ye know I've still got 3 of them off that Dave Thompson bleeech" she stuck her fingers down her throat when she said his name

"I nearly ripped Rachel's hair out and scratched her slutty little face. We had a catfight in the middle of the shop. It's not in me head Elsie, I'm sure John's having an affair with her"

"Well i know that girl's a dirty whore. But I also know that Mr Redmond he wouldn't do that to ye. He's not that kind of fella. Surely ye know that as well as me Kayls? Here, can I feel ye bump?"

Kayleigh nodded. Elsie leaned over and put her hand over the bump and she felt the babies kicking. "Oooh!"

Kayleigh looked alarmed. "What's the matter?!"

"Are youse having two babies Kayleigh lass?"

"Yeah i already told you I am. It's a boy and a girl"

"A boy and a girl that's just perfect. Ye get both cock and fanny in one go"

"Elsie!"

"Ye know Mr Redmond, ye know he's not like that"

"I thought I did. But now I'm not so sure. I'm 6 months gone with his twins, what if I have to bring them up on me own Elsie?" she broke down crying

Elsie pulled Kayleigh into a hug. "Oh come here lassie. I tell ye summat right now, if he is doing summat behind ye pretty little back then he'll have me to deal with"

"You think me back's pretty?" Kayleigh frowned

"Youse is pretty all over Kayleigh love. Ye know I like both fellas and ladies. I always wanted to try summat with ye ye know. If ye were up to it"

Kayleigh looked horrified. Was Elsie coming on to her? "Thank frig I'm straight"

John was doing a stock take when he overheard Elsie and Kayleigh talking. He stopped and looked round the corner. Elsie spotted him

"Oh and here's the man right now. I'll leave the two of youse to talk"

"Aye, you've already had 3 written warnings Elsie, get your arse back on that deli or you'll be up the road!"

"Whatever ye want Mr Lover Lover" she made a kiss noise and winked at Kayleigh. Elsie hid behind the corner earwigging

John sighed. "She's a bloody crackpot she is" he took Kayleigh's hands. "Kayleigh...listen. I don't know why y' think what y' think. Y' just assume everything. I told y' this morning and I'll tell y' again now, I'm not seeing anyone else. And i swear, that's the truth. I couldn't tell y' what I've been doing cos it's supposed to have been a surprise"

She shrugged and crossed her arms. "Carry on"

"Your behaviour this morning were out of order! Y' convinced yourself I don't love y' anymore, just cos I've been hiding me phone. I'll never stop loving y' y' know that. You're me world you are. Y' wanna know why I've been hiding me phone? Well I'll tell y' for why"

"This better be good" she rolled her eyes not expecting much

"Cos I wanted to ask y' if you'd be me wife"

Kayleigh covered her mouth and buried her head in her hands. Her eyes filled with tears as she realised how stupid she'd been

"'Avent been giving you attention lately? D'ya wanna know why? I've been looking on me phone for engagement rings y' see. I wanted to get y' the most expensive one i could get y'. A big sparkly diamond you'll love. One that y' can show off. But after the way you've been acting, forget it"

John walked away. Kayleigh was on the verge of tears, she felt stupid and guilty for nearly kissing another man and even more stupid that she had completely misunderstood everything

"John! Please don't go! I'm sorry. I'm so sorry John I am!"

"What's the bloody point now? I don't think I want to marry a woman who doesn't even trust me, just assumes things"

"No please John! Go on. I love you I love you so much!"

Just as John was about to get down on one knee, Rachel appeared, ready to stir the shit and make things out worse than they were

"Don't listen to anything she says John"

John turned round and frowned at her. "Y' what?!"

"I saw her this morning with her tongue down that trolley bloke's throat"

"What?! When?!"

"This morning before work. She was loving it, I bet she didn't even give you a second thought"

John's face fell, his heart was breaking inside. "And she's been 'avin a go at me for summat I 'avent even done! I'll fucking kill him!"

Rachel rubbed her hands together with glee as she watched the shit she had caused between John and Kayleigh. She had successfully driven a wedge between them

"Anyway...I better go back to giving out samples. I hope you work things out, but I doubt you will" Rachel said sarcastically as she walked away grinning

Kayleigh waved her arms hysterically. "John! She's lying! She's twisting it! Nothing happened I promise. It nearly did, but it didn't. I stopped meself"

"Oh well that's good then innit?" he said sarcastically. "You nearly kissed another bloke, that's as good as cheating is that. 'Ow could y' do that to me Kayleigh?" he sniffed as tears filled his eyes

Kayleigh put her hands on his face, she needed him to know it didn't mean anything

"I stopped meself cos i love you John! I love you so so much. Stuff Ted 2, I don't need him when I've got you! You are worth 10 of him! I want to marry you John of course I do! I'm so sorry! I wasn't thinking straight! Please just ask me again John please!" her voice cracked

John took her hands off his face. "No chance! This is too much this. I can't trust y' anymore Kayleigh. Maybe it's best if we go our separate ways"

He gently rubbed her bump and smiled. "I'll never forget you Kayleigh" he said walking away from her as tears rolled down his face

Kayleigh shook her head and started crying hysterically. "No...no! John please don't leave me! I love you I'm so sorry! I can't be a single mum and I can't lose you John! You're the man of me dreams. I wanted us to spend the rest of our lives together"

John turned round and smiled sympathetically, trying to fight tears back. "So did I. I wanted to spend the rest of me life wi' the love of me life. But I can't even trust y' anymore so what's the point!"

"There's every point John! We love each other and we make each other laugh, make each other happy"

"We did. We don't now. Look, you and me we're not working anymore Kayleigh. I've had enough of this I 'ave. It's been a great six months but that's all it's gonna be. Cos you and me, we're over"

Kayleigh felt like she'd been shot in the heart. She'd just been dumped by the love of her life. She froze dead then burst into uncontrollable tears. It broke Elsie's heart to see Kayleigh so upset. She had to do something!

"Here, Mr Redmond, ye listen to me. I've had this one in tears before, thinking ye don't love her any more. Ye mean everything to her ye do. Youse is perfect for each other, i've never seen a couple so suited. Ye don't want to let her go. Ye did it once, if ye did it again I don't think youse would be able to live with yeself. Think about what youse is doing to Kayleigh, to yeself!"

John stopped and turned round. "This has got bugger all to do wi' y' Elsie, so keep your bloody nose out!"

"It's got everything to do wi' me! Kayleigh's my best friend I hate seeing her so upset, she loses her sparkle when she's upset and it breaks my heart when she's in this state. She's such a lovely lass, and she loves ye to bits. She's only being like this cos she loves ye and she don't wanna lose ye. Maybe if ye showed her more attention she wouldn't have gone anywhere near the trolley boy!" Elsie's tone turned angry. "Now ye stop pissing her about and do the decent thing, get ye arse on that floor right now and propose to the poor girl! And if ye don't, then youse is not worth that girl's tears"

Kayleigh was stunned into silence, her mouth dropped open in shock. John had listened to every single word Elsie had said. He knew she was right. He took a deep breath. Kayleigh looked at him hopefully

"John..."

He looked at Elsie and smiled

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but its a bloody good job I listened to y' Elsie, you've made me realise summat. You've made me realise that losing Kayleigh will be the biggest mistake of me life. To say thanks, I'll clear all your written warnings, clean slate"

"Don't ye worry about me. All I'm bothered about is that lass being happy. Cos boy does she deserve it" Elsie looked at Kayleigh and smiled warmly. "What ye waiting for Mr Redmond get ye arse on that floor!"

John got down on one knee and took Kayleigh's hands in his

"Kayleigh Kitson, will you-"

Kayleigh couldn't hide her excitement and squealed happily. "Yes! Yes John a million times yes!"

The newly engaged couple shared a kiss while Elsie watched them smiling happily

"Sorry I 'avent got y' a ring babe, it's not 'ere yet" John said after their kiss

Kayleigh wrapped her arms round him and kissed his cheek. "Stuff the ring John, all that matters is that I've got you"

"You'll always 'ave me Kayleigh Kitson"

They smiled at each other. Elsie announced loudly to the whole shop they were engaged. "Hey everyone, it's just like Rick and Donna all over again! Mr Redmond and Kayleigh are gonna get married!"

John covered his ears. "Bloody 'ell Elsie, I think the Wigan store 'eard y', shouting that loud"

"I'm made up for youse. I want the world to know"

Kayleigh giggled. "I want the world to know I love you John Redmond"

John smiled. "I want the world to know 'ow stupid I am for nearly losing y' again"

John was engaged again. But this time, he knew he wanted to get married. Kayleigh Kitson was the love of his life, and he wanted to be with her til the day he died. Kayleigh was finally happy again, she was gonna marry the man of her dreams! 


End file.
